Episode 33: This Could Have Been A Sequence

​​Want to write sales emails like a pro?

Kristina and Will look at common email mistakes (using real examples) and rewrite them so that you can learn what to do differently.

Join Kristina Finseth (Sr. Manager, Outbound Growth Marketing at Greenhouse) and Will Allred (Co-Founder & COO at Lavender) to get TWO perspectives and TWO approaches on real sales emails, every week on Sales Hacker.

In this episode, they are going to look at a long form email that could have been an email sequence and why asking multiple questions is bad thing in terms of response rate.

Watch the re-write, and check out the before and after emails below!

This could have been a sequence

Hey William,

Really impressed by what the Lavender team has done so far. I was looking around your website just now but didn’t see anything related to partnerships. I’m curious, has building a partner program ever been considered? At first glance, it seems there’s a significant opportunity for you to unlock and capture more revenue through partnerships and indirect channels.

We’ve been working with hyper-growth SaaS companies like Example, Example, Example, Example, & Example to manage/scale their partner programs (including affiliate, ambassador, referral, and reseller partnerships). We help teams to streamline acquisition, on-boarding, training, engagement, resource sharing, link generation, lead submission, incentives, payouts, etc.

For example, our customer Company X was able to build an affiliate and referral program from scratch, enabling them to generate $1 million+ in partner revenue within the first 12 months of joining Company.

Do you have a few minutes in the coming days to chat partnerships & see how we can shake things up? I’ll bring some insights into how successful teams have launched, managed and scaled their channels into a significant revenue source.

 

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Rep

 


Kristina’s Rewrite

William,

Checked out Lavender’s site – looks like you don’t have anything related to partnerships there.

We’re helping companies like Example & Example generate strong partner revenue streams – managing/scaling alongside your team.

Curious – have you considered building a partner program?

 

Cheers,

Rep

 


Will’s Rewrite

Test 1: Start w/ Subjects

Subject A: Partner Driven Growth
Subject B: Indirect Revenue

 

Body A:

Hey Will, it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything for partnerships.

If we can make it easy, would you want to explore it?

 

Test 2: Concreteness of Partnerships vs. Understanding of Problems

Subject: Winner of A/B

 

Body B:

Hey Will, it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything for partnerships.

If we can make it easy to manage affiliates, agencies, etc. would you want to explore it?

 

Body C:

Hey Will, it doesn’t look like you’re doing anything for partnerships.

Usually this is because partnerships require resources startups don’t have.

If we can make it easy would you want to explore it?

 


Have a question about your sales email? Start a discussion in the community.

 

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