Episode 28: Live Rewrites

1 email 2 takes - live rewrites featured image

​​Want to write sales emails like a pro?

Join Kristina Finseth (Sr. Manager, Outbound Growth Marketing at Greenhouse) and Will Allred (Co-Founder & COO at Lavender) to get TWO perspectives and TWO approaches on real sales emails, every week on Sales Hacker.

In this episode, Will is going to look at couple emails from rep who are struggling to get responses. He will provide feedback and we can improve writing in sales emails.

Watch today’s re-write, and check out the before and after emails below. 👇

Email 1

Subject: automate forecasting

Hi Kristina

Noticed your sales team has grown by x % in the last x months- great work!

With a growing sales team and data coming from multiple sources, it can be hard to pull together all the numbers and reports you need

Here at COMPANY – we help growing companies with forecasting automation, you can get real-time insights and forecasting numbers you can believe in – in minutes.

Interested to know more?

Email 1 Rewrite

Subject: Forecast Reporting

Hi Kristina

Given the sales team’s growth [x% this year!] I imagine your forecasting has gotten a lot more complicated.

With more data from more sources – pulling reports can get time consuming.

We can help automate that.

Open to seeing how?


Email 2

Subject: growing sales team


Noticed your sales team has grown by x% in the last x months – great work!

When I talk to sales leaders with growing teams, they are typically struggling with

  1. Lack of visibility into their teams’ engagement with a key account
  2. Lack of insights to review each sales call of the team members

The teams at CASE STUDY use COMPANY to get visibility on which deals are moving faster and which ones are dragging in the pipeline.

They are also getting insights into the sales conversation in real-time

If that’s an issue, let’s connect?


PS – Congrats on all the success with what is now {their company}. The latest funding news, plus the amount of openings on your career page, sounds like an exciting time to be with the org.

Email 2 Rewrite

Subject: Accounts in Pipeline


Saw your sales team has grown by x% in the last x months.

Typically, that means there’s a lack of:

  1. visibility into key account engagement
  2. insights into each sales call

The team at CASE STUDY use COMPANY to get visibility on which deals are dragging in the pipeline. They also get a live look at the conversations happening in those accounts.

Think this can help your team?


PS -With the latest funding news and all the open roles, I bet it’s an exciting time to be with {their company}.


Have a question about your sales email? Start a discussion in the community.


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